What is work-life balance? And why is it, with so much literature available on achieving this balance, it still eludes most of us? In fact, trying to find balance can create more anxiety and stress!
For me, the answer is simple.
Building a global brand with my husband, the lines between work and life are blurred; our family is our life and our passion. Intrinsically linked, our business is also our life and our passion. This renders the concept of achieving balance obsolete.
Work-life balance is about successfully integrating the parts of your life, rather than balancing them. I keep my eye on the ultimate goal; a loving marriage, a happy contented family and a successful business. How do I balance this? I don’t. My husband, Chris and I work long and hard for big bursts of time, and then take regular short breaks, carving out special time for ourselves and our family.
To achieve success in all the roles you play in life; you need to make sure your ‘tank’ is full. This means spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally. This is something working mums in particular find more challenging: they often put themselves last. Equipped with a full tank, you can always give more.
This is why in a partnership of life and business, it is critical you have agreed ways to keep your tanks full.
How do Chris and I achieve this?
- Making time for fitness, hobbies and passions such as travelling, golf, skiing and meditation
- Spending time away from home to achieve goals and aspirations
- No business talk past 8pm and no laptops or emails in the bedroom
- Having ‘Me’ days; a day to do whatever we want, guilt free!
- ‘Recharge’ long weekends, dedicated to family time
- Regular date nights and;
- Exclusive family day Sunday
We also set clear methods for how we do things at home and in the business.
Three of the most powerful methods that work for us are:
1. Clear roles and responsibilities
One of the common mistakes couples make when getting into business together is not being clear about the roles and responsibilities each person has in the business and at home.
Having an organisational chart with roles along with a position description and key performance indicators (KPIs) allows clarity and accountability. This makes it easy to achieve success and can alleviate frustration or lack of performance (yes, even at home!)
2. Know your ‘hat’
I have many hats I wear as a wife and businesswoman. I am always clear about which hat I’m wearing particularly when communicating. This is powerful because your partner may really need the tenderness of a partner, but is whacked with feedback about the business instead. Knowing which hat you are wearing is fabulous for the next tip…
3. Be present
Being present to the role we are in is a powerful way to be more productive and fulfilled. For example; when I am at work, I’m present to work, I’m not worrying about our daughter and feeling as if I should be with her, I know she is being well cared for.
Equally, when I am with her, I am not distracted by work or emails, I’m present to her. Kids really feel if you are present or not and I believe Eliza values the occasions when I’m focused on her rather than the times when my mind is elsewhere.
When you have a business together, teamwork in a marriage is absolutely critical to finding fulfilment and success. Chris and I are a team in every sense of the word; we share the responsibility and load of our business and our family.
Having clear roles, responsibilities and KPIs ensures we know what we have to achieve to fulfill the roles we play. It also gives us the opportunity to give our each praise and recognition – which we all need!
Effective communication and respect for each other is equally important. Make the time to schedule meetings to talk about the business, your marriage and family. Write an agenda and where possible, don’t do it over the dinner table.
We even add in a yearly performance review for the other on both the business and home. We love to celebrate when we achieve our goals!
One of the biggest challenges facing women in business is the guilt associated with being a working mum – that constant nagging guilt. For many mothers it’s debilitating, causing a variety of issues including anxiety and a lack of fulfilment. Through the devastating death of our son Xavier, I suffered debilitating guilt. This taught me guilt is a waste of time and energy and a roadblock for happiness and success. Easier said than done right?
For me, it’s about choice. You can choose to feel guilty, or not. My advice? If you know in your heart of hearts you are doing all you can for your family, then what’s there to be guilty about? It might not be what Mary-Jo down the road is doing, but who cares? You are living your life, your way.
Comparing yourself to others is fraught with danger. In essence, it takes your eye off the main game of
your family and business and it fuels discontent.
THE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT TO A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS
Lastly, I want to shine a light on what I consider to be the most important element to a successful business, a successful marriage/partnership. Unfortunately in my franchising career, I have seen too many marriages and businesses fail due to the stress and strain of the constant juggle.
Before anyone gets into business, they need to make sure their marriage/partnership is rock solid. A business is one of the greatest tests on a marriage.
I would highly recommend a book that has been credited as saving and enriching thousands of marriages – Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages. Chris and I have found the love languages to be extremely beneficial in helping us to have an even more fulfilling and loving marriage and to keep our ‘love’ tanks full. Do yourself a favour; buy a copy of the book, implement the techniques together with the tips below to give you and your business the best chance of success and fulfillment.
FIVE TIPS FOR FAMILY AND BUSINESS FULFILMENT
1. Focus on your marriage/partnership
2. Keep your ‘tank’ full
3. Drop the guilt
4. Clear roles and responsibilities
5. Be present
Good luck!
About Debb Meyer
Debb Meyer has a colourful and accomplished career and is 2013 Franchise Council of Australia’s National Franchise Woman of the Year.
Having held senior leadership roles with McDonald’s, Foodco and Krispy Kreme, to an Associate with the Franchise Relationships Institute where she gained a reputation for straight shooting and a true commitment to her client’s success, to now; leading global brand, Narellan Pools with her husband Chris.
Debb is a sharp business woman, engaging speaker, exceptional facilitator, writer and passionate advocate for women in leadership but most importantly; a wife to Chris and mother to Xavier and Eliza.
After the devastating death of her son Xavier, Debb became a voice for thousands of woman who suffer the loss of a child. She is proof a devastating loss in life can be the fuel to truly live life with passion, conviction and happiness.